Archive for June, 2008
« Previous EntriesSwift-boatery
Monday, June 30th, 2008Remember those wacky Swift Boat Vets for truth? The people in the media who failed to properly fact-check their claims sure do! And that’s why they’re applying a related neologism to Wesley Clark’s shockingly inoffensive jab at McCain.
Now here’s some irony that’s going to turn your brain to shit:
One of the members of John McCain’s […]
Christmas has come early
Monday, June 30th, 2008And Santa Claus is a creepy, expressionless robot.
According to Mike Allen at The Politico, Mitt Romney, our dream veep candidate, is topping McCain’s veep short list. The only thing standing in Mitt’s way, apparently, is his being such a tool.
Actually, if he’s going to pull this off, toolishness might be the only thing […]
Jesus Christ, here we go again
Monday, June 30th, 2008Wesley Clark sure has some stones on him. There are certain things that are both obviously true and, for some reason, shockingly offensive to all Serious People, and he just hit on one of them when he had the audacity to suggest that serving in a war does not immediately make one qualified to be […]
PUMA wants to dent your new bicycle
Saturday, June 28th, 2008These letters from John Cain require a little backstory.
I know everyone’s been busy trying to drink it out of their memories, but the fact remains that not too long ago the Democrats got together and had themselves a primary - if I recall correctly, it was pretty ugly. And loooooong. And people started to go […]
Bobby Jindal is fucking terrifying
Friday, June 27th, 2008Unless you’re in the Peace Corps right now, chances are the artist formerly known as Minipundit is having a far more productive summer than you. Coming to us live from a fancy internship at The American Prospect, Dylan reports that Governor Van Helsing, in addition to being a demon slayer, is also Bruce Willis at […]
Chicken Soup and ANWR Drilling for the Soul
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008So apparently John McCain’s energy policy is now based around the “pyschological impact” of those studies instead of, you know, tangible results. Which I guess explains his support of the gas tax holiday.
Here are a few other planks in his energy strategy:
-Free Prozac for everyone.
-Hugs!
-Once a week, he will give a special address to the […]
WTF, Richard Cohen?: Unnecessary French Edition
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008Welcome to another edition of the game that’s sweeping the nation. Let’s take a look at today’s Cohentastic excretion.
In politics, we’re having a Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr kind of year. It was Karr, a French writer, who coined the phrase plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, which means, as Barack Obama has shown, that […]
The truth about Barack Obama
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008He ruined Karl Rove’s fancy little country club party.
God, what a dick.
The number one threat to our economy
Monday, June 23rd, 2008TERRORIST VAMPIRES.
Yes, technically it is true that if a terrorist blew up America, that would be just awful for our economy. And if trees made everyone kill themselves, that would probably also be bad for the economy.
And if the monster from Cloverfield stomped all over Wall Street, obviously the stock market would be in pretty […]
For real, Obama?
Saturday, June 21st, 2008You know what’s really attractive in world leaders? Hubris.
Seriously, why stop with the seal? Deliver all of your speeches from a replica White House press room. Whenever Congress passes a bill, Xerox it and sign it where the President would. It’s just like playing house, except a thousand times more arrogant!
Man, I miss primary Obama. […]