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By Ned | May 13, 2008
Sorry for the lack of postage over the last several days. Moving back home from college is a chore. But now I’m here. Posting will resume…ish, but it’ll probably be scaled back what with having a job and having other things to do now that I’m back.
Incidentally, I know first-hand as a Cracked.com contributing writer that having people say, “well, what about including [thing] in your article? Why’d you leave that out?” is really annoying, but as great as this article is, I’m kind of surprised that none of the bosses from the Metal Gear Solid series make it in.
I have fond memories from middle school and high school going up against the likes of Psycho Mantis and The End in particular. Psycho Mantis, for those who never owned a PS2, was this emaciating floating guy in a wetsuit and gas mask who could turn invisible, levitate every item in the room at you, make you restart your PS2 because you keep getting fake error messages, vibrate your controller for no reason, and read your memory card and tell you what other games you were playing. Okay, it doesn’t sound so scary right now, but it freaked me out when I was 12.
The End was much, much worse, though. He was this 85 year-old man in camo with a sniper rifle who could just lie in wait in the bushes perfectly silently for hours. You’d be stalking around, quiet as a mouse, trying to find and immobilize him when - BAM!- half your health is gone because of a well-placed bullet from halfway across the map. And when you thought you were getting close to him, the dude would sneak up behind you, bludgeon you on the back of the head and then sprint off - he was remarkably spry for an old man. The whole effect was pretty pants-wetting too.
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