« THIS JUST IN: PRESIDENT TO MEET WITH PEOPLE TO POSTPONE DOING STUFF | Main | Next Post »
Tofomosexuality
By Ned | December 12, 2006
Jim Rutz has some really interesting ideas on where gay people come from.
I have nothing against an occasional soy snack. Soy is nutritious and contains lots of good things. Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you’re also getting substantial quantities of estrogens.
Estrogens are female hormones. If you’re a woman, you’re flooding your system with a substance it can’t handle in surplus. If you’re a man, you’re suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your “female side,” physically and mentally.
Yes, that’s right. Soy turns guys homosexual.
This kind of argument, crazy as it is, doesn’t actually surprise me too much. Conservatives have long hinged their homophobia on the assumption that homosexuality is some kind of choice, or better yet, a disease. So they’ll blame it on things like abusive parents, evolution, or, in this case, diet. Read and be amazed:
Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t homosexual.” No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can’t remember a time when excess estrogen wasn’t influencing them.
Now that right there is a tightly constructed argument. See how quickly he rebutts the “homosexuality is not a choice” argument with a simple but elegant, “no, you’re wrong.” Touché, sir. Now you may ask, “How do you know that soy contains estrogen? For that matter, what’s the connection between estrogen and liking other guys?” And by asking that question, you’ve already fallen into his carefully laid rhetorical trap. See, all of that stuff is irrelevant - the point is that there’s estrogen in soy, and estrogen is a science word. He wouldn’t use that word unless he totally knew what he was talking about.
But soy is even more sinister than you could have possibly imagined. For example:
Research in 2000 showed that a soy-based diet at any age can lead to a weak thyroid, which commonly produces heart problems and excess fat. Could this explain the dramatic increase in obesity today?
That’s right. Research showed that. It was proven. With research. But any fool could see it for themselves, anyway. Fast food companies are pumping their products full of soy and tofu to make a cheap buck, and kids are just weakly flapping their pudgy little arms and screaming for more of it. Also connected to obesity: water, exercise, and sunlight.
Okay, so soy is responsible for gayness, shriveled genitals, impotence and fat kids. Anything else?
Worse, there’s now scientific evidence that estrogen ingredients in soy products may be boosting the rapidly rising incidence of leukemia in children. In the latest year we have numbers for, new cases in the U.S. jumped 27 percent. In one year!
There’s also a serious connection between soy and cancer in adults – especially breast cancer. That’s why the governments of Israel, the UK, France and New Zealand are already cracking down hard on soy.
Jesus Christ! Cancer, too? I don’t care where Rutz gets the numbers that he vaguely alludes to - this is serious! We need to take drastic action, now. From now on, everyone should only eat manly things. Like delicious Hungry Man meals.
Yum, yum. That’s one meal that won’t turn you gay, shrink your testicles, make you overweight, give you cancer,turn you into a Communist, get you high, make you like Nickelback, etc.
Topics: Uncategorized |